Going in a Different Direction

When I started this blog I decided I was going to write about psych stuff..hence the paper I posted last week. While it's fun for me to go back and read what I wrote and feel as though I sound super smart, it kind of makes for a boring read. So let's try humanizing this a bit shall we....

Hi, I'm Mesa, a real, living, breathing human, who happens to be a mom, a friend, girlfriend, and passionate psychology major.

My blog is titled My Life as a Psych Experiment because that is precisely how it feels at times. If there is a God up there and everything is already planned then he has one hell of a plan for me and mostly everyone I know. The "plan" to me feels like a series of experiments that are set up to see how people react to life and notes are being taken so that when the next batch of experiments are hatched maybe it'll be done differently.

For example, based on my experiences maybe the next plan won't include crazy parents? I know, I know, if I hadn't had the experiences or lived the particular life I've lived than I wouldn't be the ME that I am today. So, I digress.

I am extraordinary, wonderful, beautiful, loving, kind, empathetic, sympathetic, funny, smart, stubborn, anxious, angry, sad, happy, and capable of handling almost anything. I am super-woman and fallible all at the same time. I am perfect and gloriously flawed, as is everyone else I know. My better half asked me last night if I thought that even the worst people have a human side and I said 100% yes..even serial killers have friends. No one is born bad/evil, that is a myth to me. We are born with certain traits, yes, but we are largely shaped by our environments whether we like it or not.

I struggle sometimes with the ways of the world and the injustices that take place. I struggle with how my daughter is treated by other kids who don't know the damage or power of words that they think are harmless. I struggle with thinking that I am not a good parent because I am not with them full time. Like I said, I am flawed, but I am not a terrible parent or horrid human being. I am just human.

Maybe only a few people will read this and maybe no one will, why does it matter? It doesn't, I have a voice and I want to share it with the world just because. So, from here on out my psych experiment will consist of me and my human side not just the intellectual. So welcome to my life as a psychological experiment, may you be inspired to conduct an experiment of your own!