Time

The funny thing about time is that it's rumored to heal all wounds and that if you have enough of it you can get things done.... what if time doesn't exist?

There are days when it seems time flies by so fast, you blink and next thing you know a year has gone by.... but when you look back you can account for the time you spent. I feel like some days my memories are so crisp and clear that its almost like time can stand still.

I haven't physically seen or held my son in over a year. To write that out loud makes me want to stop and run away and hide under a rock and pretend that all that time didn't actually pass. But you can't run from time or truth.

The truth is....I miss my boy. I have missed an entire year of his life, it's halloween #2 that I've missed, it'll be Christmas #2 that I'll miss, and birthday #2 that I'll miss this year. Coming to terms with that on a daily basis is not an easy task but when I wake up in the morning I know that even though he's far away I don't love him any less. I just wish I didn't have to miss so much. I wish that every time I think of him it didn't feel like a knife stabbing me in the heart and a rock forming in my throat. I do my best and I hold together pretty well every day, but the more holidays approach the harder it becomes.

That's the funny thing about time I guess...while it does heal some wounds and it does bring to you things you never thought you'd have like true love, it can also leave you missing those you love that are not with you...........